Are You A Blooper?

There are those who would say I am a walking blooper! My staff at the coffeehouse caught many a faux pas on the chalkboard as well as in the weekly newsletters.
My most memorable blooper had to be on one of the newsletters I sent out to over 500 people announcing the graduation and musical recital for one of my employees. I learned the very valuable lesson concerning trust in spell check and the importance of one little letter. I left out the “i” in the word recital as I invited our customers to join us that evening. So, it read, “Please join us at Johnny’s (not his real name, but he knows who he is-and so do 500 people!) senior rectal.” I got many responses, including a response from that young man. It was nice to know people actually read the newsletter!
One day, a few of the local police officers were leaving the coffeehouse and cheerfully I said to them, “Be careful and go service our community!” My staff let me know there may be a different way to take that comment.
Some of my favorite bloopers are in church bulletins. You know that the intent of the meaning is always pure, but sometimes things get a little twisted.
For example, a church in Indiana posted this in their bulletin: “The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.” I bet the pastor had a lot of responses to that one!
In an effort to make younger couples feel more comfortable attending services, one church posted this in their bulletin: “For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.”
I’m sure that the pastor of this church felt greatly appreciated after this bulletin announcement: “During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.”
This bulletin item will give you the confidence you need to bring a covered dish for the church potluck: “Potluck supper; prayer and medication to follow.”
If you are looking for a little compassion and sympathy, you may re-think trying this church after reading their bulletin: “Don’t let worry kill you off-let the church help!”
Now, this is a friendly church: “Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church secretary.”
On a church bulletin in Minnesota: “GOD IS GOOD, Dr. Hargreaves is better!”
This bulletin announcement will make you show up on time to church: “Ushers will eat latecomers.”
If confidence is an issue for you, this church bulletin may not be helpful: “The Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.”
This church gives us something to add to our prayer list: “Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.”
The author of this comment in a bulletin could be the folks that sit in the pew behind me: “Hymn 47: Hark! An Awful Voice Is Sounding.”
Bloopers, or blunders, are what can happen when human beings are in charge. Over the years, we have seen many people in the media make bloopers. A blooper is a mistake that someone makes unintentionally. The Bible was divinely inspired so you don’t have to worry about any “bloopers”.
David tells us in Psalm 12: 6, “The words of the Lord are pure words; as silver tried in a furnace on the earth, refined seven times.”
Lent is a great time to re-familiarize yourself with God’s Word. If you spent 5 minutes a day reading your Bible, you would be amazed how differently you will look at your world.
“For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12
No, no bloopers there!